BOOK REVIEW: “Messy Grace” by Caleb Kaltenbach

It would be safe to say that the relationship between evangelical Christianity and the LGBT community (AKA the “LGBTQIA community”) is among the top five issues of the 21^st century. There are numerous books from a vast array of perspectives being published at an astonishing rate. In his book Messy Grace, Caleb Kaltenbach certainly brings a unique, if somewhat unpolished, voice among the masses.

Kaltenbach’s story is what makes his voice so unique. His parents divorced when he was young, which is unfortunately not unique, but the fact that his mother is a lesbian and his father is a gay man certainly is. He spent his childhood shuffled between his closeted gay father and his mother and her longtime partner, Vera. He marched with his mom in gay pride parades, went to parties with her, and generally grew up steeped in the LGBT subculture. He encountered Christian hostility toward gays firsthand, and witnessed his mother’s hurt and anger as a result. For years, little Caleb believed his mother’s pain-filled words: “Christians hate gays.” Through a crazy turn of events, Kaltenbach became a Christian in high school—much to the dismay of his parents—and eventually became a pastor.

Kaltenbach weaves his childhood story throughout Messy Grace, with the intent of encouraging Christians and church leaders to elevate our interactions with those of the gay community. What he calls us to is a life of tension between grace and truth, a messy tension that will at last lead us to a Christ-like love for all. His story is often painful. His love for his parents is deep and abiding, tearing him up as he struggles through the tension of grace and truth. He has lived what he is calling us to on the deepest level.

From a church perspective, I found Kaltenbach’s vision for “messy churches” where anyone is welcome to be very compelling. We would do well to heed his words, and ask ourselves the tough questions about who is really “allowed” into our churches AND into our lives. Do we see people as projects to finish or fix, or do we love them regardless of where they are in the journey?

Although I love and appreciate both Kaltenbach’s story and his message, his writing style was difficult for me to connect with. I had to work to push through some sections where his writing seemed to lack flow and direction. However, this wasn’t enough to distract from the powerful message and the genuine heart that shines through on every page. Full disclosure: I was reading an advance copy that may still see some editing before it is finally published.

I highly recommend this book for church leaders and believers who are serious about reaching out to the LGBT community. I also recommend this book to members of the LGBT community who are wondering if the idea that “Christians hate gays” is actually true. Kaltenbach may well find himself being the much-needed bridge builder for a generation that is tired of “screaming across the void” at those who are different, and are instead ready to live out some “messy grace.”

Please Note: This book was gifted as a part of the Blogging for Books Reviewers Program in exchange for my unbiased review of this work. This has in no way influenced my opinion or review of this work.