Full disclosure: I am guy who is reviewing a book that was written for women to better understand the minds of men in their lives. In Through a Man’s Eyes: Helping Women Understand the Visual Nature of Men, co-authors Shaunti Feldhahn and Craig Cross attempt to help women see the great challenge men face to stay pure in a culture filled with tempting sexual images.
Feldhahn is a Harvard graduate who has become a popular speaker and author on marriage, relationships, and the uniqueness of the genders. Gross is a founder of XXX Church, a ministry that helps those entrapped by porn, a pastor, and author of many books. Their team-up on this book brings formidable experience, helpful wisdom, and a much-needed candor to this extremely important subject.
Even though I am a guy, I believe this book will be very helpful for women who aren’t sure how to talk to their husband, boyfriend, or son about the subjects of porn and lust. The Frequently Asked Questions section alone has the potential to save marriages and/or help moms talk with their teenage sons in a productive way. I imagine I will recommend and loan out this book many times.
The first half of the book is concerned with helping women understand the brain of the men in their lives. The authors cite new scientific research on the male brain, and tell stories about couples who struggled and finally gained traction in communication once the visual nature of the male brain was brought to their attention.
The second half of the book changes focus to the response of women to this new knowledge about the mind of men. How should a wife or girlfriend or mom react to finding out that men are visually tempted much more than they are? Are they going to freak out, seeing the men in their life as hopeless perverts? Or will this newfound information lead to more constructive conversations that respect the God-designed differences in the sexes?
Both parts of the book are important and timely. The message of this book may appear controversial to some, but as a guy I’m glad this book exists. I hope many women read it and take it to heart.
Along the way, the authors address other related issues such as porn addiction, modesty, parenting strategies for young boys, and more. There is a lot of practical content packed into this short book. I highly recommend this book for women especially, but I think it could be helpful for men as well. It will lead to greater understanding, which in turn leads to deeper relationships. And that is always a good thing.
Please Note: This book was gifted as a part of the Blogging for Books Reviewers Program in exchange for my unbiased review of this work. This has in no way influenced my opinion or review of this work.