I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.
-Nelson Mandela
“Fearless leader.”
You’ve likely heard the phrase before. But are you familiar with the “fearful leader?” I recently returned from a short-term mission trip to Haiti with 27 other committed, amazing individuals. They looked to me to lead them through the culture shock, the hard days, and the unique challenges of ministering in a different culture.
Did I feel tremendously blessed to lead this team? Absolutely. Were all the logistics of the trip adequately planned? Yes. Was I still scared to death? You better believe it.
Preaching in a church building filled to capacity with poverty-stricken, but expectant, people. (God, what do I say to them?)
Looking at the huge, crushing, desperate crowd of hurting men, women, and children who showed up for our medical clinics in remote villages. (God, how will we ever help them all?)
Feeling so tired and knowing that we had still had a few days left to go. (God, where will I get the strength?)
Facing situation after difficult situation presented by the heat, flooding rains, and shaky infrastructure of Haiti. (God, what should we do now?)
I was the “fearful leader” of the team. As strange as it sounds, I learned the value of leading with a healthy dose of fear.
I suppose my fear could have paralyzed me. It could have caused me to hesitate when I need to act, or complain when I should encourage, or retreat when I should lead. Instead, my fear drove me to my knees in prayer and caused me to trust in the Sovereign Lord of Heaven more than I ever have in my life before. God used my fear to teach me humility and reliance on Him.
This team is God’s team, not mine, I realized.
Maybe a better name for a “fearless leader” would be a “risk-free leader” or an “in-denial leader” because to lead on the edge is to be faced with fear. The good news is a leader faced with fear is one that God can use, because a “fearful leader” is a submitted, useful tool in the hands of his Creator.